Family Visit

Every year I try to send my daughter and myself at least once back to the place where most of my immediate family is still living, Fargo and Moorhead. This August, the trip was really different. I had my girlfriend of two years, and now fiancee, Joyce with me for most of the time. She felt very welcome there and I was happy to see such a positive reception. But then again, this is my family, who historically never second-guessed my choice in companions. I claim to come from three clans, actually, and they're all very reserved. You have to be a member for a while before they open up, and being away for extended periods as I am tends to roll that back to the beginning, where you've just darkened their door for the first time.

It's time to define an audience here. It's pointless to talk aimlessly as if some anthropologist a thousand years hence is going to uncover some dusty electrons and learn about the mysterious Longtin tribe, so here's who this is for: you are my family and friends. I will write and post pictures and links with you in mind. Especially for my daughter, Madeleine, my parents, my brothers and sister, grandfather, and many uncles, aunts and cousins.

The other group - friends - come from all corners and cultures. A select few go so far back as to be high school classmates, especially Maria, then Todd, a smattering of college buddies and a lot of folks from Quest Software, and one or two rare finds through this medium, the Internet. I guess to be candid, you could say, the people who have always mattered the most to me, and who I imagine conversations with when they're not around, and who I guess I have a vested interest in seeing prosper and thrive. Without being maudlin, you would be someone I'd like to thank for being an advisor and a sounding board, or gave me the chance to grow in a significant way. Someone I would not be ashamed to have speak at my funeral. Or make a toast at my daughter's wedding.

Back to the trip. Every time the month of July draws near, I get a little cranky because I am reluctant to acknowledge that I need to return to the hometown, both for my daughter and myself. Time is rolling along faster and faster and I feel like I miss out on most of the lives of my closest family, and it makes me sick. This is the compromise I have made - to be in a place where I have never felt stifled, where there has always been a niche in society ready for me to fill in, where there is always another unique type of learning or career to be had, and in exchange, I give up 95% of the access I used to have to my parents and siblings and others.

My dream would be to achieve a level of success and financial security that would make it possible for me to extend an unconditional welcome to everyone - to consider my home here a second home to them. Seriously, it would work like this: my half-brother decides that he wants to live and work in California for a year or two and look into schools, so he calls me: I set him up with a plane ticket and put some fresh linens in the guest house, and he is able to join me and my new extended family for dinner 2 or 3 nights a week. Or one of my school mates emails me, just divorced or fired or something, and they need to retreat for a couple of months. Or one of my parents wants to take a break and go sightseeing and shopping, so they drive down and hang out for a solid three months, and we take turns watching the kids while the other one goes out to the Coach House or Downtown Disney. I guess you could call it a family timeshare, but my home would be a place where everyone feels appreciated and no one has to worry about the expense or about imposing on our good will. But, like I said, they're all so unassuming... No one of my people would ever be caught dead "freeloading."

Thanks for reading.